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At times, a 22-year-old from Los Angeles is convinced he is “the greatest person on planet Earth”. As a diagnosed narcissist, his periods of extreme self-importance often turn “detached from reality”, he explains. You feel invincible and you’re like, ‘The world will recognize that I stand above others … I’m destined for greatness for the world’.”

For Spring, these times of heightened ego are typically succeeded by a “sudden low”, during which he feels deeply emotional and embarrassed about his actions, rendering him especially susceptible to disapproval from those around him. He came to wonder he might have narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) after looking up his traits on the internet – and subsequently diagnosed by a professional. Yet, he questions he would have accepted the diagnosis if he hadn’t already reached that realization on his own. When someone suggests to somebody that they have this disorder, {they’ll probably deny it|denial is a common response|they’re likely to reject it,” he says – especially if they feel beliefs of dominance. They inhabit a fantasy reality that they’ve constructed. And in that mindset, I’m the greatest and {nobody can question me|no one should doubt me|my authority is absolute.”

Clarifying NPD

Although people have been identified with narcissism for over 100 years, it’s not always clear what the term implies the diagnosis. “Everyone calls everybody a narcissist,” explains an expert in narcissism, who believes the word is “overused” – but when it comes to a professional assessment, he believes many people keep it private, because of so much stigma linked to the disorder. An individual diagnosed will tend to have “a heightened sense of self”, “a lack of empathy”, and “a pattern of manipulating others to bolster one’s self-esteem through actions such as seeking admiration,” the expert says. Those with NPD may be “extremely narcissistic”, to the point that {“they’re not able to hold down stable relationships|“their jobs are damaged|“they have a distorted view of reality,” he adds.

I’ve never cared about anyone really, so I’ve never taken relationships seriously

Sex-Based Distinctions in Narcissism

Though three-quarters of people found to have narcissistic personality disorder are men, findings points out this statistic does not mean there are less female narcissism, but that women with NPD is frequently manifests in the less obvious variety, which is often overlooked. “Men’s narcissism tends to be more socially permissible, just kind of like everything in society,” says a 23-year-old who discusses her NPD and borderline personality disorder (BPD) on social media. It’s fairly common, the two disorders co-occur.

Individual Challenges

“I really struggle with receiving negative comments and being turned down,” she explains, whenever it’s suggested that the problem is me, I tend to switch to defence mode or I withdraw entirely.” Despite having this reaction – which is known as “self-esteem damage”, she has been attempting to address it and listen to guidance from her close relationships, as she doesn’t want to slip into the damaging patterns of her earlier years. I used to be manipulative to my partners during adolescence,” she states. With professional help, she has been able to manage her condition better, and she says she and her significant other “operate with an understanding where I told him, ‘If I say something messed up, if my words are controlling, address it {right then and there|immediately|in the moment’.”

Her upbringing mainly in the care of her father and explains there was an absence of positive role models during development. It’s been a process of understanding all this time which behaviors are and is not appropriate to say when arguing because it wasn’t modeled for me in my formative years,” she comments. There were no boundaries when my family members were insulting me in my early years.”

Root Causes of The Condition

Conditions like NPD tend to be associated with childhood challenges. Genetics play a role,” says a mental health specialist. But, when someone develops narcissistic traits, it is often “linked to that individual’s particular early environment”. Those traits were “their strategy in some ways to cope in formative years”, he states, when they may have been neglected, or only shown love that was based on meeting specific standards. They then “rely on those same mechanisms as adults”.

In common with many of the individuals with NPD, one individual thinks his parents “might exhibit similar traits. The individual shares when he was a child, “their needs came first and their work and their social life. So it was like, stay out of our way.” When their attention turned to him, it came in the form of “a great amount of pressure” to achieve academic success and career success, he says, which made him feel that if he didn’t fulfill their expectations, he wasn’t “good enough”.

In adulthood, none of his relationships were successful. Emotional investment was lacking about anyone really,” he states. Therefore, I never treated relationships seriously.” He believed he wasn’t experiencing genuine affection, until he met his current partner of three years, who is also dealing with a personality disorder, so, like him, finds it hard to manage emotional regulation. She is “very supportive of the thoughts that occur in my head”, he explains – it was actually she who originally considered he might have NPD.

Seeking Help

After a visit to his GP, John was referred to a clinical psychologist for an assessment and was informed of his condition. He has been recommended for therapeutic sessions via government-funded care (ongoing counseling is the main intervention that has been shown to help NPD patients, experts say), but has been on the treatment delay for an extended period: The estimate was it is expected around maybe February or March next year.”

John has only told a handful of people about his condition, because “there’s a big stigma that every person with NPD is harmful”, but, personally, he has come to terms with it. “It helps me to comprehend my actions, which is positive,” he explains. Each individual have come to terms with NPD and are pursuing treatment for it – hence being willing to talk about it – which is possibly not the norm of all people with the disorder. But the presence of NPD content creators and the development of virtual networks point to {more narcissists|a growing number